Default Setting
by mirajo
Summary: How do you change a pattern that has been established for years? Attempts at serious conversations, and a kidnapping case may hold an answer - sequel to "Psychological Autopsy"
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes**: the story explores some of the issues mentioned in "psychological autopsy", it takes place right after "collateral damage", and makes some references to this episode, but there is no mention of major plot points.

Reviews, Comments and suggestions are very much appreciated.

Disclaimer: NCIS and the characters are the property of CBS and D. Bellisarius. No copyright infringement is intended.

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**Default Setting**

**Chapter 1**

"Is everything all right, boss?"

The softly uttered question pulled Gibbs out of his thoughts. He looked at his Senior Field Agent who was wearing a serious and focussed look that he hadn't seen for most of the last two days.

Tony added a bit hesitantly, "You just looked a bit distracted since yesterday.."

At Gibbs' raised eyebrow, he quickly amended, "you don't do distracted, I know.. it's more like preoccupied.."

"I am just surprised that you noticed anything these past few days, you were kind of busy with your comedian act, DiNozzo."

Tony tried to look affronted, but his heart wasn't in it, since he agreed somehow with Gibbs' assessment.

"I would go easy on the chocolate if I were you," Gibbs added pointedly.

"Who told you about that? Wait…. Vance has been talking to you .. not that you need to do that, or that I am doubting your "all knowing" reputation,""

Gibbs interrupted Tony's rambling with a weary "DiNozzo!" that carried a slight warning.

The two men were on their way out at the end of the day. Thankfully the case was wrapped up, but Gibbs had a lot more on his mind than Tony imagined. He was battling with thoughts, emotions and regrets that were consuming him. However, even as preoccupied as he was, he hadn't failed to see the way DiNozzo has been acting during the last few days. His antics have been silly rather than funny, and his whole demeanour, at the beginning of the case, was unfocussed and half-hearted. Gibbs has restrained himself on one or two occasions from giving him either a biting comment or a head slap-he actually hasn't done that for a while now. However, their little recent talk was still fresh in his mind, and he was reluctant to shake the fragile balance they have managed to reach. On the other hand, his own little talk with Vance has left him with a new set of worries, this time, mostly for DiNozzo. He turned to face him, and asked him in a tone that demanded a real answer,

"Do you want to tell me what was going on in that head of years?"

"Well, if you ask Ziva and McGee, they would swear that there is absolutely nothing going in my head, at any given time!" Gibbs' lips twitched a bit, but he looked at Tony and replied in a serious tone, "I know better, DiNozzo."

Tony sighed heavily, all levity leaving his face, and started in a quiet voice, "Remember that little "talk" we had a few days ago?"

Gibbs simply nodded, this talk won't be easily forgotten by either of them.

"Well, I gave some thought to what you told me about McGee, and how it is possible to see disrespect in the way I tease him, so I tried to have a little talk with him as well.." Tony trailed off.

"It didn't go well?"

Tony snorted, "I don't know if you can say that, really, because the key word here is "I **tried**," when I told him that we needed to have a little talk, he looked at me suspiciously, but as soon as he heard me say "seriously talk", he almost fell on the floor laughing. Ziva joined in and they started to ponder, " Tony made quotation marks with his fingers, 'the unlikely odds of DiNozzo wanting to have a serious talk', McGee was totally convinced that I was playing some kind of elaborate and creative trick to embarrass him."

"It has happened before, DiNozzo."

"Yeah well.. but it doesn't mean that I'm not capable of having a serious conversation, boss!"

Gibbs shook his head, laughing a little sadly, "so you went ahead to prove them right in the next day, by clowning around more than usual?"

Tony frowned a bit, thinking about what Gibbs said. He had told the man the other day that anger is his default setting, and Tony knew himself well enough to recognize what his own default setting was, and how he reverted to it, without thinking, whenever he was unsettled or unsure of himself. Ironically, he ended up confirming what others already thought of him. He had just maintained a childlike hope that his teammates would see through his act when he needed them to.

Gibbs didn't wait for Tony's answer, he had his own way of dealing with failed expectations and disappointment, but he doubted that it would benefit Tony. Actually, he doubted that it benefited him either, but that was another story. However, there was one piece of wisdom he could impart before leaving, "The point is, DiNozzo, you build up a reputation for years, you have to live with it."

Tony obviously didn't like that succinct statement. "That sounds so final, Gibbs, not to mention depressing."

Gibbs just shrugged, he had a lot of experience dealing with things that were both final and depressing.

He turned to leave, but stopped a short distance away, and called, "Hey, DiNozzo, just do me a favor, stay away from vending machines .. and from Vance."

Tony frowned again, but dutifully answered, "you got it, boss."

He actually got it about the vending machines, but Vance?? May be Vance has been talking to Gibbs, or, he thought, may be Gibbs is just being his overly suspicious self, though Tony had to admit that the incident at the vending machines was not his finest moment. His memory supplied him with other moments, but he refused to let his mind go back once more to the whole mess in L.A., and to Jenny's death. He didn't need anyone else's condemnation, his conscience was doing that job perfectly well on its own.

_Next Day, Bullpen, 8:00 a.m._

McGee was looking suspiciously at an innocent cup of coffee that Tony has just deposited on his desk. It was hot, smelled good and was apparently bought from his favorite coffee shop-in short, it was too good to be true!

"What is that exactly, Tony?"

Tony just rolled his eyes, "What does it look like McGee?"

"Looks like coffee, and we all know that you only bring coffee to Gibbs.."

"There is a first time for everything, McGee," Tony said patiently, still standing in front of McGee's desk.

"Well, I don't know what's going on with you, Tony," McGee muttered, "but there is one way to find out."

Tony watched incredulously as McGee picked the cup, removed the cap and spilled the coffee in the trash can, as the last drops drained from the cup, he frowned a bit, "it really looks like coffee, though.."

"Agent McGee!"

They both turned to find Vance looking at them intently, "I want to see you in my office," he added, gave Tony a disapproving glance, as if blaming him for McGee's odd behavior, and then left without waiting for an answer.

Tony threw his hands in the air, "I swear this man is developing Gibbs' knack to appear exactly at the wrong time.."

"which is most of the time when it comes to you, DiNozzo!" Gibbs strode through the bullpen, carrying his own cup of coffee. He approached McGee's desk, saw the trash can and his nose twitched a bit, he raised an eyebrow and looked questioningly at Tony.

"This is just the result of the second, and probably the last, attempt at a serious conversation with McGee, the probie has developed paranoia in his old age.."

"Unforgivable!" Gibbs shook his head, looking a bit chagrined, though Tony was almost sure that the sympathy was directed at the spilled coffee.

"It could have been worse, though.. " he added with a little smirk, "he could have thrown the coffee at you, DiNozzo,"

"Speaking from experience here, boss?" Tony threw over his shoulder as he quickly retreated to his desk, but not before catching the lethal glare Gibbs sent his way. The phone ringing on Gibbs' desk saved him from a head slap or worse.

Ziva has been following the "show" with some amusement, but she now turned to watch Tony carefully. He had a strange look on his face, a mixture of disappointment and resignation, however the look was gone in seconds, and the wide, and sometimes irreverent grin was back in place.

"Get the car, DiNozzo, we have a possible kidnapping, McGee… where is McGee?"

"Director's office, boss."

Gibbs had a strange expression on his face as he looked up towards MTAC, but he simply nodded, "I will get him, you two go ahead to the car, we will catch up."

They both moved to grab their gear and headed for the elevator, as they waited, Ziva asked with a smile, "so, that really was coffee, DiNozzo?" Tony rolled his eyes, and answered sarcastically, "Gibbs would vouch for that, didn't you see how his nose twitched?"

"So was that a bribe, or an apology?"

It was actually a spur of the moment thing, inspired somehow by Gibbs. Tony liked to take care of Gibbs, in his own way. The man was definitely not receptive to that particular sentiment, but he wouldn't object to a cup of coffee, and other little gestures that Tony has been doing, without fuss, for years. McGee was a much more sensitive guy, he was supposed to be able to get the hint, and understand the gesture, wasn't he? Though the probie has started to use sarcasm like a pro recently … and then, it just hit Tony, McGee was starting to act more like him, and he was starting to act like McGee!!

**Tbc.**


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: I am sorry about the delay between chapters, it couldn't be helped. As always, reviews and comments are greatly appreciated.

**Chapter 2**

"This just doesn't make sense!' Ziva was frowning at the handsome young face of their missing - most probably kidnapped - Lance Corporal.

"All right, let's review the facts we have again," Tony said a bit wearily as he stood to join Ziva in front of the plasma screen. It was only late afternoon, he really shouldn't be feeling that tired, but his day hadn't started well, and they have been going round in circles for hours now.

Ziva didn't think that one more recitation of the bare facts would get them somewhere, but she did it anyway, "Lance Corporal Phillip Moore hasn't reported to duty since yesterday, this is the first time he missed duty since he joined the Marines. His roommate was in a trip out of town, came home late last night, found obvious signs of disturbance in the apartment and a few spots of blood on the carpet. Moore's car was still in the garage, his keys, wallet and cell phones were all in the apartment."

The scene provided them with little clues, there were signs of a struggle, but the apartment wasn't trashed, and the blood volume didn't suggest a serious injury. Abby wasn't yet done with all the analysis, but she confirmed that at least one of the blood samples belonged to their missing marine, and that another belonged to an unknown individual, presumably one of the assailants.

Ziva's tone was more frustrated as she continued, "no one saw or heard anything relevant, no security cameras around, we can't even be sure when exactly he was kidnapped. He is well liked by his superiors and colleagues, no steady girlfriend, and no known enemies. His mother is dead, no siblings, and, according to his roommate, he is not on speaking terms with his father. His roommate has never met any of his relatives. There is nothing noteworthy about his duties, finances, relations, or family; in short there is nothing that would tempt anyone to kidnap him!"

The three of them have spent hours talking to anyone related to Moore, from his C.O., who was also listed as his emergency contact, to his neighbors, and colleagues. He appeared to have no life outside the Marines, and the details about his background were sketchy. They investigated the roommate closely, but still came up with nothing.

All appearances suggested that the young man has been forced out of his apartment, but was it to kill him somewhere else and dispose of the body or to keep him captive for a mysterious reason? Unfortunately, they were not close to answering any of those questions.

McGee was now diligently digging through records, while Tony and Ziva were preparing themselves to go on another round of fruitless interviews. Gibbs has been more wound up than usual when he left the bullpen a few minutes ago. Kidnappings were particularly difficult to handle, there is always this small hope of being able to get it right and save the victim, but there is also the very real fear that they would be too late, or even that their actions would end up precipitating the victim's death.

"May be he got himself kidnapped for an uncommon, or a less obvious reason," Tony continued with a speculative look, "he may have witnessed a crime, I can think of a .."

"Not another movie reference, please!" McGee interrupted without taking his eyes off his monitor.

"Well probie, I was actually referring to a case, but if you want me to find you a movie reference.."

"I would rather you find me my missing marine, DiNozzo!"

Tony really couldn't understand why Gibbs didn't include his teammates in that statement, but since he wanted to find their marine as much as Gibbs did, and since he really hated to fail Gibbs in any way, he infused his voice with some enthusiasm and gave his standard "On it, boss!"

"Then you better tell me you got something for me other than inane movie references."

Tony just sighed inwardly, and kept his eyes firmly on his computer. He hasn't been playing around-at least not this time, he wasn't a miracle worker, and what's more, he hasn't been making a movie reference. He knew that Gibbs was venting his own frustration, and he also knew that, at times, he gave Gibbs valid reasons to snap at him. To be honest, he mostly didn't take offense. If Gibbs didn't blow some steam, the man was liable to explode – almost literally speaking – and hurt himself, as well as others, in the process. They have been working together for more than seven years, and that pattern was pretty well established by now. However, lately, he found himself silently bristling at some provocations. He was slowly losing his capacity to let unpleasant and unfair comments slide off him, and what worried him even more is that he was losing the ability to find good excuses for Gibbs' behavior. Their recent confrontation and the subsequent talk have given him a better understanding of the man, but haven't done much to restore those abilities.

Tony has always relied on his ability to adapt to the demands and expectations of others, and this ability was slowly deserting him; on the other hand, he didn't have much hope that Gibbs would change his ways easily, if ever. Now, If he can't adapt, and if Gibbs can't change.. Tony didn't want to pursue that line of thought, at least not now.

"I am waiting!" Though it was a general comment, Gibbs was still glaring at him.

"Boss, our Lance Corporal is about as average as they come, there is no obvious reason…"

"Not exactly average, Tony. Boss, I think I found something," McGee interrupted excitedly, " before he joined the marine he had his last name legally changed to 'Moore', that's his mother's maiden name, his father is Alister Kisarios- a well known millionaire, his company's head office is only 30 min. away from here"

The photo of the stern, gray-haired man on the plasma screen bore a strong resemblance to that of their missing marine.

Gibbs examined the strong features on the screen, "he has typical Mediterranean features.. Italian.. ?"

Tony shook his head in the negative, "Greek, second generation immigrant, shrewd businessman, but no shady deals.."

"You know him, DiNozzo?"

"Not personally, but father liked to keep track of the competition, so to speak.." Tony answered with a sarcastic smile.

"His wife is dead, didn't remarry, our missing marine is his only child," McGee continued, his fingers still flying over the keyboard.

"But he has legally changed his name, they must have had a fall in.."

"A fall out, Ziva, and I think it is a bit more than a normal fall out, though it is a bit strange that he didn't try to relocate to another city." Tony added pensively.

"Keep digging McGee, Ziva, you still need to question the neighbors you couldn't find earlier; DiNozzo, you're with me, let's hope Mr. Kisarios will give us the break we need."

Just before they reached the elevator, McGee called them, "Boss, I found something else, it seems that Kisarios disinherited his son right before he joined the marines."

"If he was kidnapped for ransom, then the kidnappers didn't do their homework well."

But Gibbs shook his head, "It's his only child, Ziva, he would still care no matter what…"

"Don't be too sure of that, Boss." Tony interrupted quietly, as he stepped with Gibbs into the elevator.

As they headed to the car Gibbs was thinking of the strange turn their case has taken. Their missing marine didn't turn out to be an average guy with an average background; and none of them has missed the resemblance between his life and the life of one Anthony DiNozzo- who was currently wearing a grim look on his face, and walking briskly by his side. He usually relied on his senior agent's insights, keen observation and people skills, and he could sense when it would be particularly useful to have Tony do a certain interview or accompany him on one. However, he wasn't sure if that resemblance would help or hinder them today, he wondered if it would have been better to take Ziva with him instead. Yet, there was no time for second thoughts or self doubts, and Gibbs wasn't fond of those anyway, DiNozzo was coming with him, and that's that. He just hoped that Mr. Kisarios would be able to help them find his son. He also hoped fervently that they were not about to meet a Greek version of DiNozzo's father!

**Tbc. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: **I am grateful for your reviews and comments, and would very much like to hear what you think of this chapter.

Characters' inner thoughts are in Italic.

**Chapter 3**

The senior legal representative of Kisarios Inc. was a dignified man, with white hair, a serene smile, and mild manners. After a few minutes of dealing with an enraged Gibbs, the dignified man has definitely lost his smile, and most of his manners. Tony was lounging on a chair in the luxurious lobby, watching his boss do his "magic"-if you can really call Gibb's brand of persuasion / intimidation that.

They have been trying to meet Mr. Kisarios for almost an hour now. The nice blonde assistant had talked non stop for 5 minutes to explain why that would not be possible, at least not right now, mentioning video conferences, overseas, urgent meetings and critical deadlines. When Gibbs insisted that the matter was urgent and concerned Kisarios' son, she got a blank look on her face, but she politely asked them to take a seat for a few minutes. A junior legal representative was called, and Gibbs made short work of that one. His supervisor, the dignified looking man, was currently raising his palms up in the universal gesture of surrender, and was discreetly trying to move back a step or two away from Gibbs. _No luck there_, thought Tony with amusement. Sometimes it looked like Gibbs had no idea what personal space is, but the man definitely knew how to manipulate that space to make the most impression.

Tony freely admitted that he enjoyed watching Gibbs spar with suspects, clueless Law Enforcements personnel, and other assorted characters. It was a bit like a personal hobby, though he suspected that Ducky would have a disturbing psychological label for that one. Then again, Ducky himself liked to talk to his cadavers, McGee was attached to comic books heroes, Gibbs kept building boats in his basement with no intention of sailing them, and Abby slept in a coffin… by comparison, Tony was actually quite normal!

In between rounds with the unfortunate staff of the company, Gibbs has asked him to use his charm on the blonde assistant to gain them entrance to Kisarios' barricaded office. He had tried to explain that in that kind of business environment, he may still have a chance of getting a date with her, but no chance to make her defy her boss' order. Since Tony hasn't yet learned how to say No to Gibbs, he now had her phone number in his pocket, and Gibbs was trying to find another way in.

On the inside, Tony was as angry as Gibbs, every minute lost was taking away from their Lance Corporal's chance to survive his predicament. He was angry, yes, but he wasn't surprised. In his own experience, business will always come first for a man in Kisarios' position. Nothing will take precedence, neither family nor children, a man could even forget his only child, literally not just figuratively.

No, Tony was not enraged, the rage has burned out of him a long time ago, leaving only bitter remnants of disillusionment and pain. He firmly pulled his thoughts away from that direction. He needed to keep his focus on the case, and in order to that he really needed a distraction, something to keep at bay the emotions and memories triggered by his presence in that building, and by the prospect of meeting a man who shared a few traits with his own father. Gibbs in a fit of temper was a good distraction, provided that Tony himself was not the object of that fury.

Gibbs now called to him, and a moment later, Kisarios finally came out of his office, exchanged a brief word with his assistant, greeted them with a curt, "Gentleman, we will need to use the other office," and strode briskly in front of them in a determined way that reminded Tony strangely of Gibbs himself.

Once in their seats, Kisarios said without preamble, "May I see your I.D.s please?"

Gibbs handed them over, along with his personal card, he was used to people giving a cursory glance to the I.D., but Kisarios spent a moment examining them. Gibbs took that chance to examine the man. He was in his early sixties, with sharp dark eyes, strong features, and purposeful movements.

"What happened to Philip?" The question was direct, precise and emotionless.

"Your son has been missing since yesterday, presumably kidnapped." Gibbs was studying the man's face as he replied, he was sure that DiNozzo was doing the same.

"Presumably?!"

Tony gave him a brief account of the relevant facts, then asked, "do you have any idea about what may have happened to your son?"

"None." the man said in an even tone.

Gibbs was not a talkative man by any means, but the one-word answers were starting to irritate him.

"Did anybody contact you recently regarding Philip?" Gibbs asked.

"We have not been in touch for years, and this fact is well known to many people."

"Then, Can you give us any information that might help, about his relations, any potential enemies.."

Kisarios interrupted Tony a bit sharply, "Any information I have is definitely outdated. As for enemies," he added coldly, "Philip is not the type to make enemies, except within his own family." The words were blunt, but the man still sounded almost uninterested.

Gibbs was quite aware of the barely suppressed agitation radiating from Tony. He was finding it hard himself to remain civil to a man who didn't seem to value his son's life. But he was slightly concerned for DiNozzo, Kisarios' indifferent attitude probably reminded him of his own father's negligence. However, Gibbs' real concern was that their hope to find anything that could help them locate their marine was fading fast.

"Do you know if he has been in contact with any other family members, can you give us a list of names?"

The man looked at Tony silently for a few seconds, "you don't seem to understand the situation, Agent DiNozzo, so let me clarify again, there are no contacts and no lists, Philip is no longer a Kisarios, he is simply not a family member."

Tony had a murderous look in his eyes as he invaded the man's personal space, "you really don't care whether he lives or dies!" Tony said in a low, dangerous voice. Before Gibbs could interfere, he exploded, "even if he was in fact kidnapped for ransom, and even if they contact you, you would not contact us. He is not family anymore! So you would just stand by and let him die, wouldn't you?!"

"DiNozzo!"

"Am I a suspect in your investigation, Agent Gibbs?" The man turned to Gibbs, his face still expressionless.

According to Gibbs, the man was probably as bad as some of the criminals they chased, but the law would not recognize that fact.

"No, you're not."

"Then, your agent is out of line," Kisarios turned to DiNozzo, "Your superior, and I don't mean Agent Gibbs, will hear about this. I do not take kindly to being harassed in my own office," he turned to look at Gibbs pointedly, "or to see my staff being harassed." With those words, he strode out of the office, leaving behind two shocked and angry men.

Gibbs slammed the car door shut, then slammed his hands on the steering wheel hard enough to hurt. He turned to his agent with a thunderous look and lashed out, "Our job, DiNozzo, is to find the missing marine, not to prosecute bad fathers! This case is difficult enough without you acting like an inept rookie who can't control his emotions, get your focus back on the case!"

Tony visibly flinched at the cutting words. He has regretted his outburst in the office as soon as it happened, not because the man didn't deserve it, but because he has, in fact, lost his focus, and he owned Philip Moore a lot more than that. Though his emotions were in turmoil, he was now feverishly trying to think of options, leads, anything that could get them one step further towards finding Moore. He couldn't handle the full weight of Gibbs' disapproval, anger and disappointment now. He was barely keeping his own emotions in check, and if anything, Gibbs' censure was distracting him even more. Besides, he has messed up, but he was in no way responsible for their current predicament.

He took a deep breath, and took off his seat belt; thankfully, Gibbs hasn't started to drive yet, otherwise his shaky self-esteem wouldn't be the only thing to suffer damage.

The look in his eyes was as icy as his tone when he turned to his boss, "you're right, I messed up, and I'm not proud of how I handled the father, but I want to find Moore as much as you do. I made one mistake, but it is not my fault that our only lead didn't get us anywhere! I got distracted, I know it is a major sin in your book, and probably never happens to you, but you don't always need to bash me over the head to get my attention!"

He took his stuff and started to leave the car when Gibbs put a hand on his wrist, "what do you think you're doing?"

"Look, if you don't want me to be distracted, then I need to be by myself now," the words '_I need to be away from you'_ were left unsaid but Gibbs could clearly hear them. Tony went on, "I need to clear my head, get my focus back, that's the only thing that matters now .. the only thing that matters to you, right?"

Gibbs was still grabbing his wrist, and looking at him a bit strangely, and Tony was starting to lose his patience, "I am going to get a cab, and meet you in the bullpen, I don't think you have a rule against cabs, and if you do, I will need to break it this time."

Gibbs slowly released his wrist and started the car, he didn't look at him as he simply said, "Don't be late, DiNozzo, we're back to square one, and we can't afford to lose time." Tony was really tempted to say 'don't you think I know that?!!' But he just strode away silently.

Gibbs felt that they were back to square one on more than just one level, he had no clue how to find his marine, and he was alienating his senior agent, _again_, his conscience added. DiNozzo was right, he made a mistake but this impasse was not his fault. Even worse, Gibbs himself was guilty of being somehow distracted, though DiNozzo would not have sensed it. Thoughts of Langer and Lee have been disturbing him greatly for days, he was also concerned about Vance's attitude towards Tony, if Kisarios was petty enough to go to Vance, he wasn't sure that Vance wouldn't use that against Tony. But worst of all, he admitted to himself, he has been closely following Tony's reactions during the meeting, even as he was observing Kisarios himself. His only focus should have been on the case, but he couldn't block Tony's agitation. _Is that, then, what you're really blaming Tony for? Were you talking to him or to yourself about acting like a rookie? _His conscience was just relentless today.

He had no definite answers, but he knew himself enough to recognize that his concern and worry often came out as anger. He easily became angry when he was worried, and more often than not, he became angry at the object of his concern! DiNozzo was probably right when he said that anger was his default setting. However, none of these thoughts would help their Lance Corporal. The case wasn't the only thing that mattered to him, as DiNozzo said, but right now it just has to be.

**Tbc**.


	4. Chapter 4

**Authors Note:** I appreciate your reviews and comments very much, and would love to hear what you think of this chapter.

**Chapter Four**

Tony allowed himself to relax as he rode in the cab. Several thoughts and emotions competed for his attention and he needed those 30 minutes before he got back to work to sort them out. Thoughts of his father were predominant. The encounter with Kisarios has only served to confirm what he already knew: fathers can really stop caring, and that family ties can be broken irreparably. There was no need to revisit that particular topic. However those thoughts have brought another concern fully to the surface. In recent years Tony has acquired himself another family-one that he cared for greatly. He loved his job, but it wasn't just the job that has kept him at NCIS, his boss and teammates held a place that has been left vacant for years. The thought was actually a bit scary, because now NCIS held the two most important things in his life: his job and his family; and it was like putting all your eggs in one basket, if you drop it you risk to lose everything. Tony wasn't about to drop anything, he was actually hanging on firmly to that basket but thoughts of his "family" have been marred by pain and disappointment lately.

There was nothing unusual about Gibbs' angry outburst. Gibbs was not a happy man when they were in the middle of a case. Come to think of it, their job didn't leave much place for happiness, may be that's part of the reason why he tried to infuse his brand of cheerfulness whenever he could. Now, a case without a lead made for a very frustrated Gibbs, and that increased ten folds when there was a victim waiting to be rescued while they floundered in the dark. _So, what did you expect_, he asked himself, less vehemence may be, some consideration, or perhaps a sign that Gibbs had taken their talk seriously.

Their recent talk has culminated in Gibbs telling him to either "_stop me or ignore me_", it is too bad that Tony has forgotten to ask if he was supposed to do that when they were in the middle of a case, which was typically the time when Gibbs proved that his "bastard" reputation was justified. Everything was sacrificed when they were on a case, sleep and meals included, not even bathroom breaks were safe from Gibbs who took the "24/7" motto a bit too far sometimes. If Tony was in fact supposed to put up with his boss' temper when on a case, that would leave them very little time to have a sensible relation. _You never used to mind_, Tony argued with himself, _you even liked it at times, thought it made you feel wanted, so what has changed now_? A lot has actually changed in the last couple of years, and he has taken a few hard blows either from Gibbs himself who didn't see fit to recognize Tony's work during his absence in Mexico, or from Jenny, from Jeanne, and most of all from his own conscience. He was no longer a care-free man, stuck in teenage mode-if he ever was one to begin with. As he pondered Gibbs' "stop me or ignore me" advice, he suddenly realized that Gibbs has not, in fact, promised to do anything differently! It was up to Tony himself to make a change, and if not, to cope with things without complaint.

Tony wasn't entirely blaming Gibbs, though. He knew how hard it was to change old patterns, as he was personally stuck in one. For most of his life, humor has served him well, to make friends, to channel frustration, to deflect questions and to have fun. But, his recent failed attempts to have a serious talk with McGee have brought him up short. It was disturbing to find that his teammates, who are also the people closest to him, were no longer able to tell the difference between him joking around, and him wanting to have a serious and sincere talk. He either has to let them see a bit of what's behind the happy go-lucky persona, or, as Gibbs has said, he will just have to live with the reputation he has earned himself.

Words that he had once said to Jeanne came back to his mind now: "_If you always do what you've always done, then you will always get what you always got."_ He was talking about romantic relations then, but they would apply to other relations as well. If he wanted something different out of his boss and teammates, he will have to start doing things differently, and hope that they would all end up in a better place.

He has allowed himself those few moments to think of personal stuff, but his mind now turned back to Philip Moore, and all the possible angles of the stubborn case. They will have to research the family on his mother's side, even if the mother was dead, he may have kept in touch with a close relative, particularly as he has cut all ties to his father. Perhaps McGee has managed during their absence to find something relevant in his cell phone records or computer files. He was not ready yet to consider the possibility that the young Marine may need Ducky's skills more than their own.

Back in the bullpen, Gibbs has just finished briefing Ziva and McGee, giving them a curt account of their fruitless interview with Kisarios.

"Boss.. uh.. where is Tony? Is he following a lead?"

'He will be here soon, McGee." Gibbs answered tersely.

McGee didn't miss the fact that Gibbs hasn't exactly answered his question, but he wasn't going to pursue it any further. Gibbs was wound up so tightly to the point that McGee felt his own tension growing just by watching him.

Ziva was equally silent, but her eyes haven't missed any of that either. They both went back to their search with a heavier heart.

A short while later, their missing team member arrived, greeting them with a soft, "Hey," quickly followed by a hopeful, "any leads?" to which they replied in the negative.

Tony looked a bit worn out, Ziva thought. But they all were exhausted, it has been a long day, and there was no end in sight.

Tony approached McGee's desk and quietly said, "I want to check his mother's family, if any of them are around and if he was still in touch with them." McGee simply nodded and started typing.

Gibbs had his eyes glued to his monitor, though no one could tell what he was doing exactly; he wasn't usually that transfixed with his computer. He didn't react in one way or another to Tony and McGee's conversation. A few minutes later, he stood up, headed to the elevator, and addressing no one particular said, "call if you get anything, I'm going to see Ducky."

They all breathed a bit easier when he left, the three of them were so attuned to Gibbs, really hated to disappoint him, and took it hard when they did. The absence of leads was not their fault, but it sure felt like it. Ziva once more looked at Tony, thinking that he looked more drawn than usual.

"Are you all right?" She asked him directly.

His mouth has already started to form the usual answer, but he stopped himself.

"No."

The unusual answer didn't register for a few seconds, but then they both looked at him with surprise and a slight concern in their eyes. Before they had the chance to say anything, Tony added, "but neither is Philip Moore, so…" No one could object to that, so they turned as one to their search.

A few minutes later, the elevator dinged and Ducky came into the bullpen, heading towards Gibbs' desk, and stopping when he realized the man was not there.

"I see Jethro is not here," he murmured more to himself than to them, then raised his voice a little as he added, "I saw him earlier today, and he was in a bit of temper, I hope he hasn't been more impatient than usual," which was Ducky's civil way of saying I hope he hasn't driven you all mad by now.

His question was only met with fake smiles, and sarcastic looks, which was all the answer he needed.

"Well, one can always hope.. in any case, he has asked me earlier to make a profile for our Lance Corporal, and I looked through the man's records, and other bits of information, but I am afraid there is nothing I can tell you that would help you locate him. I can only say that he is a focused, strong willed young man, even-tempered and well disciplined – his record is exemplary in that respect. However, based on a few things, I can venture to say that Mr. Moore is not the type to let his fate be decided by others, in other words, this young man will not just sit still and hope to be rescued."

"He will make an escape attempt?" McGee asked.

"I believe so."

"This could either be a very good thing, or a very bad thing."

"I am afraid so, Tony. Well, I regret that I can't be of more help.."

McGee interrupted, "Ducky, Gibbs said that he was going to see you when he left a while ago, where did he go?"

"Well, he never came to see me, so I assume he is taking a small break, which is something that you three ought to be doing right now." Their medical examiner's voice was a bit stern as he looked pointedly at their exhausted faces.

Before they could object he added, "At least get something to eat, even if it is from the vending machines, and take a moment to rest. When one is exhausted, things tend to make even less sense than usual, come on now, move along..." He effectively shooed them out of the bullpen like a pack of small children.

They didn't exactly resist, having missed both lunch and dinner by now, and rendered even more exhausted by the apparent hopelessness of the situation.

They sat around the small table, munching snacks and pondering what Ducky has just said.

"You know," McGee mused out loud, "I would have expected Moore to have an obvious problem with discipline."

"Why is that, McGee?" Ziva asked.

"Well, he had his name changed, cut all ties with his family, that's a pretty rebellious action."

"Or a pretty desperate one." Tony commented quietly.

McGee looked at him with a frown, "how is that a desperate act, Tony?"

"If you have tried long and hard enough, you might reach a point where you will just have to give it all up, otherwise you would be destroying yourself."

The words have been uttered softly, unlike Tony's usual vibrant style, and the look on his face was thoughtful and intense; he wasn't looking at his teammates, but was strangely absorbed in the chocolate bar he was playing with rather than eating.

McGee was a bit taken aback; he didn't often get to see Tony in that mood. But he was reminded of the time Tony came to see him at home during that terrible time when he doubted his place as a field agent, after shooting the cop who was working under cover. Tony had tried to cheer him up at first in typical DiNozzo fashion, but when McGee asked him to stop, and revealed his doubts, Tony has listened and seriously shared a personal experience that was private and a bit embarrassing. But McGee had also seen that look more recently, actually very recently.. The realization hit him that Tony's attempts to talk to him have been serious. Tony sometimes got that awkward look when he was being earnest.. why didn't he see that?

He started with some hesitation, "Tony, I hope you won't give me a reason to regret what I am going to say now, but about earlier, when you tried to talk to me, I thought.. I didn't see.. I didn't expect.." Then he stopped, a bit frustrated. Really it was a bit embarrassing for a published writer to find that words could still abandon him in some situations.

Tony was probably more adapt at reading him, as he seemed to figure out what he was not saying, and shook his head smiling, "people see what they expect to see, McGee.. you didn't expect it so you couldn't see it."

_This makes sense somehow_, McGee mused.

"Okay, when the case is over, we can do that."

"Yeah.." Tony seemed to have regained some spark as he added, "but you still owe me a coffee, though."

"How do you figure that, DiNozzo?"

"Well, I got you one and you spilled it, so here you go.."

Ziva interfered with some amusement, "he is right, McGee, you spoiled his grand gesture, it is the least you can do."

They were all starting to sound like their normal selves, and it was a nice feeling, one which unfortunately didn't last long.

"What are you three doing here exactly?!"

McGee and Ziva both jumped at Gibb's dangerous tone, Tony has actually seen him coming but didn't have the chance to warn his teammates who now hastened to answer, referring to Ducky, missed meals, and fresh eyes.

Tony has remained silent, watching Gibbs serenely, and being watched in return. Gibbs was looking at him much like a hunter cat watched the little mouse play innocently while being totally unaware of his eminent demise.

"So, you have nothing to add DiNozzo?" Gibbs actually growled.

"We were doing the same thing you were doing, boss, just taking a small break," gesturing calmly to the cup of coffee that Gibbs was holding, "by the way, Ducky came looking for you, he had a few things to share."

Then, standing in one fluid movement, he headed back towards his desk, leaving McGee to explain Ducky's findings to a slightly furious Gibbs.

Well, that little mouse has the potential to morph into a cat when necessary, Tony thought with glee, though his amusement faded fast. His thoughts went back to the case, and he felt like he was chasing an elusive idea that was starting to take form in his mind, something to do with the exchange he just had with McGee.

A few moments later, it was like a bulb went on, and Tony started to work feverishly on his computer. He was totally oblivious to the fact that Gibbs has planted himself in front of his desk.

"Care to share, DiNozzo?"

"In a minute." Tony answered briefly without looking up.

Gibbs was sorely tempted to bang his hand on the desk, make DiNozzo jump, and give him some explanation. But his agent has been acting strangely since their interview with Kisarios, and he wasn't sure what to expect, so he gave in for now and returned to his own desk.

A few minutes later, DiNozzo came to stand before him, with a resolute look in his eyes. "Boss, you will have to talk to Kisarios again, I have a feeling we were duped."

"We both heard the man DiNozzo, we saw how he acted.."

Tony interrupted urgently, "people see what they expect to see.. I was expecting to see an uncaring, cold father, and I didn't try to look further."

Gibbs wasn't convinced, "But those were not my own expectations, besides, the man didn't leave us even a shadow of a doubt.."

"Listen to me, Gibbs, there were lines of exhaustion written all over his face, his voice was too controlled, with no inflections or emotions whatsoever, and the whole thing feels like it has been rehearsed, the waiting, the feeble excuses from the staff, they were staged to make us think the worst of him before we even talked to the man."

"So what changed now?" Gibbs asked reasonably.

"Call it a hunch! Besides, I made a quick search about the man to know what he is like, and he is directly involved in several charities, and it doesn't look to be the kind that is for publicity sake, either.."

Gibbs interrupted, "may be so, but he still disinherited his own son. I am willing to try any thing that may help, DiNozzo, but it seems to me you're jumping to conclusions, here.."

They were both interrupted by Gibbs' cell phone ringing. As Gibbs answered, Tony felt himself deflate. He trusted Gibbs' gut feelings totally, if Gibbs can't see it then it is not there to see. May be, he thought, he wanted so bad to believe that a father would not abandon his own son irrevocably. Gibbs' voice interrupted his gloomy thoughts, "It seems your hunch was right after all, DiNozzo!" Gibbs had a faint smile, and a glint of pride in his eyes as he added, "that was Kisarios, he is coming over here, and he knows who has our Marine."

**Tbc. **

**------------**

I know that Tony's introspective thoughts at the beginning are a bit too long, but they are necessary to explain his actions in this chapter and the next ones, thanks for bearing with me!


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note**: Many thanks for all who reviewed and commented. Please let me know what you think.

**Chapter 5**

Lance Coporal Philip Moore was one unlucky guy, Tony thought. He had changed his name, lost his inheritance, and broken all ties with his family; yet, someone had obviously believed that those family ties were still worth something, and this was how their Marine had ended up in his current predicament.

Philip Moore was being used as a bargaining chip to ensure that his father would relinquish an enormous deal in a foreign market, an action which would benefit a competitor who was on the brink of bankruptcy. Alexis Damon, the competitor / kidnapper also happened to be an old friend and former business associate of Kisarios.

Tony was watching from the observation room along with McGee and Ziva, while Gibbs sat facing Kisarios in the interrogation room. Tony could tell, even through the one-way mirror, that Kisarios' eyes had considerably softened compared to the last time he saw him, and that his voice had lost that cold and unconcerned quality that had incensed him hours ago. The exhaustion that the man had kept hidden behind a rigid posture and brisk movements was quite visible now, as he continued his tale in a strained voice, "Alexis contacted me yesterday, I had not heard from him for quite a while, but the news about his financial situation had reached me. He told me he had Philip, asked me to give up the deal, and promised that Philip would not be harmed. I was stunned.. actually I am still stunned .. I have known him for so long .. that he would be capable of such an act is just unthinkable!"

Gibbs could sympathize. His own recent and painful encounter with a couple of old friends who turned out to be back-stabbing murderers had left him reeling in shock for days.

Kisarios gathered himself and continued, "I thought that the best way to guarantee Phil's safety would be to follow his instructions to the letter, so when you came to my office today I did my best to convince you to look elsewhere for answers."

"What changed your mind?"

"Several things; I made some inquiries into Damon's financial situation and it is, indeed, disastrous. I once thought that the suspicions surrounding his activities were just petty rumours, but now I know better, and I can't help wondering how far he may take this. There was also your own reputation to consider, Agent Gibbs," he added with a faint smile, "you are a very determined investigator, and Agent DiNozzo appeared highly and personally motivated today, I had a feeling you would end up uncovering the truth, but that may eventually harm rather than help Phil. Then, there is Phil himself, I am sure that, if given half a chance, he would try something against his captors, and this may not end well. I weighed the options and decided that Phil's chances would be much better if you knew all the facts."

Gibbs nodded then asked him, "Does Damon has any reason to doubt that you will comply with his demands?"

"No," Kisarios shook his head firmly, "he knows me well enough to know that I will not jeopardize Phil's life. When it is a choice between business and family, family will always come first."

The doubtful look in Gibbs' eyes spoke for itself, and Kisarios didn't miss it, "I know how Phil's actions and my own must look. But I still care for my son, and still hope that we can find a way around our differences. Damon was one of the few people who had some idea about what triggered those drastic actions on both our parts." A pained look came to the man's face as he explained quietly, "A while ago, I had a serious disagreement with Philip about a critical personal issue, something that he claimed he couldn't change and that I couldn't accept. I have to admit that Philip tried .. but I was adamant, and we reached a dead end. I spoke harshly and hastily, I basically told him that this was unacceptable for a Kisarios, and he replied that this was easily fixed… and the rest is public knowledge." Kisarios fell silent and Gibbs didn't break the silence for a few minutes.

Silence reigned in the observation room as well. A silent and brooding DiNozzo was reason enough for McGee to feel a bit uneasy, and a bit tense, and McGee was puzzled by his own reaction to his teammate's sombre mood. One day he will have to ask himself about the effect DiNozzo had on him, but for now, he simply took note of the fleeting emotions of longing, pain, hope and doubts that he could see mirrored in Tony's eyes, for just a brief moment, before they both had to focus their attention once more on the man in the interrogation room.

"Were you in touch with Philip, at all, after those events?" Gibbs asked.

"I am not sure if you can call that being in touch or not, but after a while I tried to reach out to Phil. I called and wrote to him, but he neither called, nor wrote back.."

Ziva remembered Gibbs' own father making the same complaint recently. She thought with some dark amusement, that out of the four of them, McGee was the only one to have a normal family life, she hoped for his sake that family troubles were not contagious!

"There was one good sign, he did not send back the gifts I sent him regularly on his birthday and at Christmas. You have to understand, Agent Gibbs, we are both headstrong, and Philip can hold a grudge for a really long time.."

Gibbs knew that he was guilty of the exact same thing, and wondered, once again, how his father had really taken his resentful silence all those years.

Kisarios continued looking at his clasped hands, "Then, the one time Philip actually talked to me was not of his own choice, Damon let him talk to me for a few seconds to persuade me that he had him, and that he was unharmed so far. It was his voice, there was no doubt about it, but there was something odd, he sounded kind of lethargic.."

Gibbs interrupted, "like he had been sedated?"

"Yes, that may be it," then he raised his head to look at Gibbs, "I wasn't happy when he joined the Marines, I thought he would surely end up being injured or worse, never thought that it would be because of me.. because of the business." His voice gained strength as he added, "we have 30 hours, Agent Gibbs, before it is time to give my final answer for the deal."

Neither of them said it aloud, but they had their doubts that it would in fact end there, or that it would end well.

He pointed to a number of files he had brought with him, "I thought you might need this, I compiled all the information I have about Damon."

"Yes, but you also said that you hadn't been in touch with Damon for a while, so I will also need information about your own personnel, at work or at home, people who may have a connection with Damon. Agent McGee will assist you." This was McGee's cue to come in while Gibbs joined Tony and Ziva outside.

"I agree with you boss", Tony started, "Damon has probably been in touch with someone on the inside."

"This is really frustrating," Ziva said a bit impatiently, "we know who has him, we know why, but it seems like we still have to tip toe around the issue."

"We can't just storm the doors, Ziva." Tony answered.

Gibbs added, "If we do anything to alert him, he will move Philip where we can't easily reach him, or do something even worse, we have to get as much information as we can, and tread carefully."

"I am on it, boss."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs called him before he had the chance to head back, "get some dinner, first, all of you. We still have a few hours of work ahead of us."

"What about you?" The question was a bit unusual, though it really shouldn't have been. After all, even Gibbs could not survive indefinitely on caffeine and willpower, as much as he would like them to believe that.

"All right, get me something as well." Tony smiled at him, for some reason, and quickly left accompanied by Ziva.

A few hours later, they had some sort of plan formulated for the next day, lists of possible hideouts and warehouses connected to Damon, and a tentative short list of personnel that may have some connection to the man.

"All right, head home all of you, we will need to be here early tomorrow morning." Gibbs' command took them by surprise as they have expected to pull an all-nighter. "We will need to look at all that with a fresh mind, and we will need to be alert, come on, head out, you only have a few short hours before you have to be back."

Gibbs noticed Tony lingering after McGee and Ziva had left. The tension and unease that had been there since their argument – if you can call it that – had seemingly vanished. They were back to working like a well oiled machine, at least until something else goes wrong, which is likely to happen.

"Go home, DiNozzo."

"What about you, boss?" There was that question again, Gibbs thought. He resorted to a well tried method, he just stared at him without answering, usually that was all it took to make DiNozzo move. Not this time, though. His senior agent just stood there waiting for him to answer.

"Tony .. go home. You have just a few hours left."

"You are as tired as I am." Tony said simply.

"I know my own limitations, DiNozzo.. and why the sudden interest?" He snapped impatiently. As he listened to himself he realized how easy it was to get him riled these days, and how defensive he sounded.

Tony didn't answer right away, just studied Gibbs for a few seconds, then nodded and left. He wasn't sure about the answer to this question, why, indeed, the sudden interest in seeing Gibbs as less than a superhero?

_Next Day,__ an unknown warehouse, 12:30 a.m._

Stealth is kind of a prerequisite for a spy, which means that Ziva is an expert when it comes to the stealthy approach, though by necessity rather than by choice. After hours of tiptoeing around mansions, warehouses and possible suspects, she was ready to abandon stealth altogether and take her frustration out on the next convenient target. Anthony DiNozzo was no fool, so he gave his partner a wide berth, and thought about getting himself another partner. Gibbs was not a patient man, but as a sniper he definitely had done his share of waiting and watching for his prey, however, the thought of Gibbs in hunter mode was a bit disturbing for Tony, and since McGee was still busy digging for information, so he resigned himself to cope with Ziva's increasing frustration.

An hour later, they were back at the bullpen, so far nothing has panned out, and they needed to re-evaluate their options, which were still limited.

"We can't search his home or company building openly, we don't have much time to send someone undercover, and it doesn't look like our marine was held in any of the places you have searched."  
"We didn't really search anything McGee." Ziva interrupted him, and Tony added, "it was more like taking a stroll and sniffing around for anything suspicious. It would take a stakeout to be 100% sure and we don't have enough time for that."

Ziva turned to Gibbs, "May be the place is not directly connected to Damon, the man is married, right? May be a property belonging to his wife?"

"Check it out, McGee, anything to add DiNozzo?"

Tony was looking intently at the list of personnel, he turned to Gibbs, frowning a little, "I'm not sure, Kisarios said that he sent his son gifts regularly, and that he took it as a good sign that Philip didn't send them back. Is it possible that they were delivered by person, rather than by mail?"

Tony was thinking of the gifts that his own father had sent him over the years, he sometimes had a feeling that there was definitely some mix up and that some of the gifts were meant for someone else. His father's choice of gifts was odd, to say the least.

Gibbs pointed to the phone, "Ask him."

A few moments later, McGee's search got them a potential break, Damon's wife had a property at the outskirts of town, in a remote and secluded area, and it seemed like a perfect choice for a hideout.

McGee and Ziva got ready to head out as Tony finished his phone call, "Boss, his driver delivered them personally, and apparently Philip was friendly and welcoming, chit chatted a bit with the driver, and that's why Kisarios thought it was a good sign. A couple of months ago, he suspected the driver of foul play – Kisarios didn't elaborate - and fired him, that's why his name was not on the list he left us yesterday."

"That may be our guy.. Moore knows him, he lets him in, then lets the others in. That may also explain why no one in the building heard anything suspicious. All right, McGee, check the driver's records, and get me an address."

A few minutes later, it became clear that Kisarios' suspicions about the driver were well placed, Mr. Michael Santos, was under investigation for suspicion of counterfeit. The man lived alone, no wife or partner and no dependents.

"Ziva, McGee, check out Mrs. Damon's property, there is a big chance that this is the place we're seeking, take extra precautions, make sure your wires are in place, anything suspicious call me, don't go in without proper backup, and don't take any chances, no heroics, Understood?" Gibbs seemed a bit more worried than usual, so they dutifully nodded and left.

Gibbs turned to Tony, "DiNozzo you're with me, let's go bring Mr. Santos in." As Tony gave his customary "on your six, boss," Gibbs found himself wondering if DiNozzo was aware of the comfort and warmth those words brought him, and how much he had missed them when DiNozzo was on the carrier.

Santos lived at the far end of a quiet residential and wooded area. They located the house, and parked their car a few meters away. As they were walking towards the entrance, the man that they recognized as Santos, came out of the house quickly, and opened the door of the car that was parked right outside.

"Mr. Santos," Gibbs started holding his badge, "NCIS," even before he got the chance to go through the tedious explanation of what that meant, the man had bolted.

"Oh joy," Tony muttered as he took off after him, "got him, boss." The man didn't look to be that much of an athletic, and there was always the chance that he will try to double back to the car, so Gibbs remained behind.

A moment later, the sound of a suspicious crash coming from the house attracted his attention, the man was supposed to live alone, and a partner or a pet would not make that kind of noise. Gibbs drew his gun out, approached the house slowly, and spoke softly through the wire, "DiNozzo, there is possibly one or more individuals in the house, there are sounds of possible struggle, I will check that out."

An out of breath DiNozzo answered, "I almost got him, be careful, boss."

The advice was unnecessary, Tony knew, but it was all he could offer until he ended this merry chase. He was needed back there. The guy was just a few steps away, so he executed a flying tackle that would have made his football coach proud, and which would make him feel like an old man for the next couple of days.

He cuffed the guy and was about to take him back, when alarming noises came through the wire, a shout and a thud confirmed that Gibbs was no longer alone.

Tony and Santos had made enough commotion to attract the attention of one of the residents – a senior citizen who approached Tony warily, "I called 911."

Tony cuffed Santos to a fence, and had already started running back as he answered, "Federal Agent, need to get back to my partner, keep an eye on him."

"He won't be going anywhere." The old man replied with a confidence, showing a small hand gun.

A fleeting image of Jackson Gibbs holding a rifle came to Tony's mind. One should not underestimate senior citizens.

A minute later, all thoughts flew out of his mind as the loud sound of a gunshot echoed through the wire. The silence that met his frantic calls to Gibbs was deafening.

Tony ran for all that he was worth.

**Tbc.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

All thoughts flew out of Tony's mind as the loud sound of a gunshot echoed through the wire. The silence that met his frantic calls to Gibbs was deafening.

Tony ran for all that he was worth.

_**A few minutes earlier:**_

The timing of their arrival at Santos' house had been totally unplanned. One would say it was a pure coincidence, and regardless of what Gibbs may believe, coincidences do happen, and one of them was just about to turn his day upside down.

Questions and suspicions were already forming in his mind as he approached the house; why did Santos take off the way he did? The man was definitely involved, but to what extent? What or who was in the house? His senses were trained on the house, so that he almost missed the slight movement behind him, and only managed to turn at the last minute to avoid a devastating blow to the head. If it had impacted, the blow would have been strong enough to render him unconscious immediately. As it was, his right arm took the brunt of the bone-cracking blow, and his numb fingers released the gun which clattered to the ground.

Gibbs assessed the situation in seconds; his unknown attacker was wielding a fireplace log, and seemed to have no other weapon. The man was just swinging for another punishing blow when Gibbs tackled him to the ground, using his own weight and his left arm, as the right arm was now out of commission. The man wasn't expecting such a brisk move, and they both went down noisily with a force that jarred Gibb's right arm, and made the pain reach almost an unbearable level. However, Gibbs had enough experience dealing with painful injuries, so he let the pain feed his anger, and lend strength to his body. He finally managed to deliver a blow that left the other man stunned, and gave him a moment to catch his breath, and look for his gun.

As Gibbs started to pull himself to his feet with some difficulty, the deafening sound of a gunshot and a searing pain in his thigh brought him once more to the ground. He had been busy grappling with the first attacker, and had not seen the other man come out of the house until it was too late. No matter how skilled a man is, and Gibbs is definitely skilled, there is just no way for a person to watch his own back completely.

The combined pain of the fracture and the gunshot wound kept him in a semi-conscious state, and he was losing blood, but, fortunately, not at an alarming rate. Through his blurred vision he could see the man who shot him walk quickly in his direction, and pick up the gun he had lost earlier. The man came to stand over him, and, noticing the earwig, crouched in front of him, he pulled it out roughly and smashed it.

He then turned to his silent companion who was swaying a little as he got to his feet, "come on, let's get the damn marine out of the house, and head over there, we're late already .. the other Fed could come back at any moment, he must have heard the shot."

The second man looked around nervously as he hurried to join his companion, "What about Santos?"

"He will have to fend for himself. Let's hope he hasn't been caught yet, because this will give us a few more minutes. What happened out here, huh? You were supposed to give him a good whack on the head, not a tap on the arm!" The other man just grumbled something unintelligently. His companion shook his head with some disgust, and turned once more to look at Gibbs. "He took a good look at you.. probably at me, too. May be we should do something about him."

His companion shook his head emphatically, "Hey, we were not given orders to kill anyone."

"Yeah, but I'm not going to let myself get killed or caught."

Fortunately for Gibbs, the other man insisted, "Killing a Fed is not a good idea, besides, he will be out of it for a while, we will get our payment, and we will be long gone before he gets a chance to find us."

"All right, I will get Moore, he shouldn't give us anymore trouble." He handed the gun to his companion and ran to the house, "watch for the other Fed, and don't try to hit him with that stupid log, just shoot him."

Gibbs was not used to feeling helpless, but his brain, as sluggish as it was at the moment, insisted that he had one option left, and that is to hang in there, and wait for DiNozzo to figure out a way to get both himself and Lance Corporal Moore out of this mess. His last conscious thought was that it shouldn't be nearly as difficult as getting him and Maddie Tyler out of a tightly locked car in the bottom of the Potomac River.

Two possibilities came to Tony's mind as he raced back to Gibbs, either that his boss was busy subduing a suspect who came out of the blue, or that it was Gibbs who had been subdued. The continuous silence made the first possibility unlikely, so Tony settled for the second, and that was bad enough; however, he totally refused to consider a worse, or rather the worst, scenario. He had actually faced that horrible scenario last year, on that desolated pier, and he thought it would be really unfair to expose him ever again to the sight of a dying, an almost dead, or a literally dead Gibbs.

There was also the real possibility that Gibbs was not the only one in peril here, they may well have found their kidnapped marine, though not where they expected, or how they expected. Tony knew that he should not just go charging in there, and that he will have to lose a few precious minutes in order to circle around the house and come from behind, though he wasn't sure what will meet him, if anything at all, once he got there.

He jumped lightly over a couple of half-fallen fences, and was really grateful for the absence of residents and / or dogs. As he plastered himself to the side wall, and crouched low to the ground, the sight that met him was alarming. A few steps away, Gibbs was lying still, with blood pooling beneath his leg. It was hard to tell, from this distance, how bad he had been hit, or whether he was just unconscious or worse. Another man, carrying a small hand gun stood close to a car parked in front of the house, looking around warily. The man's attention, as well as Tony's, was diverted by another man coming out of the house while supporting and dragging a familiar figure. The three of them were heading to the car and Tony had only a few seconds to consider his next move.

The two men were struggling to get a swaying and uncooperative Moore into the car, when Tony's warning startled them: "NCIS! Drop your weapons!"

Tony trained his gun on them, as he stood over Gibbs to shield him from any flying bullets. Tony was outnumbered; he was desperately worried for Gibbs, concerned for Moore, and wondering if he was doing the right thing for both of them. He could tell that one of the two thugs was getting ready to shoot regardless of the consequences, and Tony readied himself as well for an inevitable confrontation that may not end well for him. But, at this precise moment, Lance Corporal Philip Moore proved that Ducky and Kisarios' assessment of his character was accurate, the dazed man used his own body weight – the only weapon he had – as he sagged against his captor, dragging him to the ground, and giving Tony a precious advantage. The man went down cursing, and Tony's bullet found its target in the arm of his companion.

Tony was beyond furious, though you couldn't tell by looking at him. He had let his training take over, and had remained detached in the last few minutes, but his inability to check on Gibbs and to make sure of the other man's condition was taking its toll.

His voice was feral as he warned them, "You shot my partner, if you want to live to regret it, don't move a muscle."

Things might still have turned ugly, but the sounds of police sirens added weight to Tony's warning, and the two men gave up.

Police officers and paramedics swarmed the area, and as soon as he cuffed the two men, and made sure that a paramedic was checking Moore, Tony flew to Gibbs' side. There was no way to hold back the anxiety and dread coursing through him as he kneeled on the hard ground, and waited for the paramedic's verdict. Tony had enough experience to tell that the bullet hadn't hit any major arteries; otherwise it would have been too late for Gibbs. There was also something wrong with his right arm, as the paramedic also confirmed. However, he had not regained consciousness and that fact worried Tony even more than the bullet wound, did he hit his head falling down? He wondered. The prospect of Gibbs going into another coma was scary, to put it mildly.

As much as he would have liked to, he couldn't give Gibbs his undivided attention, and he couldn't follow him to the hospital. He was in charge of the scene, and now in charge of the case as well. He needed to call Ducky to tell him to meet the ambulance at Bethesda, he needed to call Ziva and McGee, and probably Vance too, and he grimaced as he thought of that one. He felt the absence of Ziva and McGee keenly, and not just because he had badly needed their backup. He was an expert at dealing with strangers, police officers and hostile thugs, but, now, he found himself needing the comfort that can only be brought by his teammates, and by their shared affection for a man who was more than just a boss.

**Tbc.**

Many Thanks for the reviews and comments, please let me know what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A few hours later, back in the squad room**_

The three of them gathered together as they heard Ducky's voice through the phone speaker, his tone hinted at good rather than bad news, and they relaxed slightly.

"He is still in recovery, but the prognosis is good. Everything went well during surgery, and the bullet was extracted without problem. There is some muscle damage, and some concern because the bullet hit close to his right knee, which has been giving him trouble for years because of an old injury. He will require physical therapy, but right now it is difficult to determine the extent or the time needed, until he wakes up.."

Tony interrupted, "What about that Ducky, is he falling into a coma?"

"No.. No. They are not concerned about that, Tony. The scans showed a slight concussion, he probably hit his head as he fell down. There is also a simple fracture in the right arm, and he suffered some blood loss, but it could have been much worse, so overall, I would say that Jethro has been quite lucky."

Gibbs would probably beg to differ, rather loudly, Ducky suspected. But, since the man was still stubbornly unconscious, he was free to expound on the bright side of the gloomy situation.

"When do they expect him to wake up?" McGee asked.

"Sometime during the next few hours, Timothy."

Ziva's voice was impatient as she commented, "We're still tied up here, Ducky." The last time Gibbs had been severely injured, their world had changed without warning, and though they knew that his injuries were not critical this time, they still needed the reassurance.

Ducky understood their anxiety only too well, "Do not worry my dear, I will call as soon as he wakes up."

"Thanks, Ducky," Tony replied, and then added, "Could you please check on Lance Corporal Moore and let me know how he is doing; we will need to get his statement soon."

"I will do that and get back to you later." Ducky said before hanging up.

Their hearts were lighter as they resumed the work that was keeping them from joining Ducky in the hospital. Unfortunately, the case doesn't end once a victim is rescued and the perpetrators are arrested. The post-arrest details can be daunting, what with statements, reports, testimonies, and worst of all lawyers, particularly when you are trying to build a case against a wealthy businessman on the brink of bankruptcy. As they had all feared, Damon had not intended to release Moore once Kisarios gave up the deal. He had not planned to kill him either, but rather to move him to a more secure and remote location, and continue to take advantage of Kisarios. The young marine had almost succeeded in escaping once, hence their decision to remove him from Santos' house, which had been a good location with not ties to Damon himself.

As daunting as the work was, the sense of urgency that usually drove them during a case had disappeared, leaving behind a mixture of relief and exhaustion. Tony was feeling that mental and physical exhaustion now. The case itself had been stressful, and it had raised a few difficult personal issues, but those had paled in comparison to the dread he had felt at seeing Gibbs lying so still on the ground.

Gibbs had been hurt before, several times, but it hadn't been on his watch. Tony knew that unless he somehow possessed the ability to be in two places at the same time, then there was nothing he could have done to change that outcome. It was some consolation, but not enough of one. At least, he reasoned with himself, this time he had been chasing a suspect, not taking a day off!

Some people would look at those same events and say that Tony did a good job: the victim was safe, Gibbs was still in one piece, and the perpetrators were in custody. The rational part in his mind recognized the facts and agreed with that assessment. There was, however, another way to look at it: two men went out together to do a job, one of them came back unharmed, and the other ended in a hospital. Strangely, his mind conjured a memory from his childhood, and the faces of Robby, his best friend, and Benny, Robby's younger brother- an active and adventurous boy nicknamed "Energizer Benny." As expected, the three of them often came back from their excursions with little - and sometimes not so little - scrapes and bruises. His friend's mother, who was a formidable woman, usually met them with a standard, "What happened?" that was pure concern. However, when her "Energizer Bunny" was the only one to get hurt, her "What happened?" held enough blame to make Tony cringe whether he had been at fault or not. He felt much the same now. Nonetheless, he found himself laughing at the way his mind had drawn a parallel between Gibbs and a younger, hyperactive, and injury prone boy; their fierce leader wouldn't probably be amused at that image.

Tony suspected that his recent meeting with Vance had probably helped in conjuring that absurd image. Once he had returned to NCIS, Tony had directly gone to report to Vance. He had already briefly informed him of Gibbs' injury over the phone. But, as soon as Tony went in, Vance had met him with a stern, "Agent DiNozzo, what happened?" The assessing and disapproving look in his eyes had broadcasted a slightly different question; Tony had heard "What happened, _this time_?" as clearly as if the man had spoken the last two words out loud.

There was no way for either of them to forget that Vance had met Tony the first time when he was being accused of Killing La Grenouille, after a botched undercover assignment. A few weeks later, they had another memorable meeting after the L.A. debacle where Jenny Shepard had gotten herself killed, while Tony and Ziva were supposedly escorting her. Had that been Tony's fault? No one can say for certain, and Tony himself suspected that if he had done things differently, the end result might have remained the same, or worse. However, the what-if had left him suffering from guilt, self condemnation, and doubts for months. Did Vance's opinion matter to him? Not really; Tony knew very well whose opinion had mattered, and how it had affected him. He had been unable to meet Gibbs' eyes at that time, and he honestly didn't know how they would have both handled it if Vance hadn't turned their world upside down right after that. As he relived those events in his mind, Tony found himself thinking that Vance might have actually done them a favour by disbanding the team when he did.

**_Back in Bethesda _**

Pain was the first thing that registered as Gibbs started to regain consciousness. His body was sending distress signals from different sources. He tried to focus his eyes properly, and he was met with a reassuring and comfortable sight.

Ducky has been holding his breath waiting to see if he would find recognition in his friends' eyes, or meet the dreaded blank look that he got the last time Gibbs was injured more than two years ago. There was pain, confusion, but also recognition in those eyes, today. Relief coursed through him, "Welcome back Jethro!" The whispered "Ducky" was barely audible, but it was reassuring none the less.

He called for the nurse quickly, the doctor would need to assess Gibbs' condition and only then would they be able to inject him with a potent painkiller. "Don't try to move, Jethro, do you remember what happened?"

Gibbs frowned as he tried to summon enough strength to think back to what led him to his present condition. The words came haltingly, "the kidnapped marine... there was someone in the house, a man came at me.." He stopped, trying to remember, he hadn't been alone, DiNozzo had been with him, but he couldn't remember what happened afterwards.

Gibbs voice shook, as he added "DiNozzo! He was with me.." Ducky noticed the heart rate increase, and the look of alarm on his old friend's face, and hurried to reassure him, "Anthony is fine, Jethro, and so is our marine. You're the only one who got hurt, my friend, if we discount one of the two men who caused your injuries."

Gibbs closed his eyes in relief, but he couldn't ignore the pain for long. Thankfully, the doctor arrived quickly, and after a short examination and explanation, they administered a painkiller and he slipped into a healing sleep.

The second time he woke up, he was met by a whirlwind of care, concern, and reassurances; he smiled at Abby's quick monologue, and managed after a while to calm her down enough, and to get some facts about the case. This visit had been followed by others from Ziva and McGee. Vance had dropped in at a certain point, but through it all Gibbs had been less than alert.

It was almost a day later when Tony finally managed to spend a few moments with an awake and alert Gibbs. The tension that had been Tony's constant companion these last few days finally faded as he sat there, answering Gibbs' questions about the case. However, he didn't miss the way his usually stoic boss winced every time he tried to shift his body slightly in the bed. In addition to the actual injuries, the doctor's earlier assessment was proving to be true, and the proximity of the bullet wound to the previously injured knee was causing further problems. It was not going to be an easy recovery, Tony thought. As he left the hospital to go back to work, an idea started to take shape in his mind.

_**Two days later, Bethesda Hospital**_

"Something on your mind, DiNozzo?"

Tony has been fidgeting a bit more than usual since he had sat himself on the chair facing Gibb's hospital bed. Tony suspected that Gibbs himself would have been fidgeting if he were able to, it was clear that his boss was suffering from acute boredom, add to that the pain and the prospects of a long recovery and you get a miserable and irascible Gibbs.

Tony had given his idea a lot of thought in the last couple of days, and the only thing left was to share it, "I know that they plan to discharge you soon, Boss, and that you will still need several physical therapy sessions before you can get back to work. You won't be able to use crutches for the first couple of weeks, and won't be able to manage stairs, so I thought it might be best if you stayed with me. There are no stairs to worry about, and I will be able to help a bit with some of the exercises, and to drive you to the sessions whenever possible." Tony fell silent waiting for Gibbs' reaction; he saw a fleeting look of surprise in his eyes, but then nothing more.

Now, when faced with a sincere offer to help, most people would either accept thankfully, decline politely, or express their fear of being a bother. Gibbs, however, was not most people.

"I have been injured much worse, DiNozzo, I can manage on my own." He answered calmly, though he failed to explain how exactly he was going to manage this time.

Tony knew Gibbs well enough to realize that he was not the type to seek or accept help willingly, or to admit to weaknesses, even if the weakness involved nothing more than a weakened eyesight. If the concept of relying on another's help was foreign to Gibbs, the concept of sharing his home, even temporarily, and the idea of caring for an injured person, were both equally foreign to Tony.

He continued, unfazed, "I know you do, Boss. That's not the issue here; it would just be easier if you were not on your own this time, since your options are a bit limited with two injuries." Tony really didn't know what kind of options Gibbs was considering; he didn't think he would relish the idea of going into a rehabilitation facility, he can still get medical care at home, but that would still leave the problem of getting around.

A slight edge had crept into Gibbs' voice as he answered him, "There is no need for you to worry about that, DiNozzo."

Tony persisted, "You would do the same for me, actually you already did, I stayed at your place more than once.." Gibbs interrupted him with a sarcastic smile, "and that didn't go so well, if you recall."

"That's beside the point, Gibbs. You're not me.. uh.. I mean you make a much better behaved house guest."

"The best house guest, DiNozzo, is the one that doesn't show up. As I said, don't worry about it." Gibbs tried to inject a final note in his voice, a note that DiNozzo was familiar with, but he doubted it will make much difference this time. DiNozzo had been a bit unpredictable lately, and to be honest, it was making him uncomfortable; he didn't like it when people decided to change the rules on him.

"You are not planning on hopping to Mexico, aren't you? Not that you will be able to hop anywhere with that leg.." Tony stopped himself before a glaring Gibbs could stop him. However, he wasn't done yet. "You didn't mind staying with Franks."

"That was different, DiNozzo."

"Well, as long as you don't do it again." Tony muttered under his breath, then raised his voice as he added, "So, it won't be the first time, you already stayed at Franks', and though Mrs. Mallard may be a bit of problem, I'm sure you wouldn't mind staying at Ducky's house, right?"

Gibbs answered a bit impatiently, "No, DiNozzo, I wouldn't exactly mind.. but that's different, too."

Tony smiled as he retorted, "Well, you're right about that, I don't have a pack of hounds in my apartment, and the furniture is a lot easier to move, not a huge difference, though."

"It's different, DiNozzo.. Ducky is a friend."

The smile fell and Tony froze. Gibbs didn't miss the change in his expression and realized his faux pas, so he tried to amend, "he is an old friend, DiNozzo. Besides, I'm not planning on going anywhere but home."

"Yeah.. I get that Boss," Tony said as he stood ready to leave, "not one of my best ideas, and we would probably have killed each other in a matter of days." The humour was forced, and so was the smile, but it was the best Tony could do. "I think Abby will be dropping by sometime today," he added, waved goodbye and left without waiting for an answer.

Gibbs felt even more agitated as he watched DiNozzo leave hurriedly; he shifted his body on the bed without thinking, and the consequent sharp pain was a mocking reminder that he won't get out of his latest physical mishap easily, and the same could be said about this latest blunder with DiNozzo.

**Tbc.**

Many thanks for your reviews and comments, please continue to let me know what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: **Your reviews, comments and suggestions are much appreciated.

**Chapter Eight**

It had been two days since Tony had hurried out of Gibbs' room feeling a bit like an idiot. He had tried to argue with himself that if anyone should feel like an idiot. then it should be Gibbs, but he had lost that argument. He had tried to make sense of the callous rejection by translating the patented "Gibbs' speak" into normal people speech, but that hadn't worked either. So, he had just decided to shrug it off, though that was easier said than done.

In the last few days, he had been forced to interact with Vance as a temporary team leader, and endure the feeling that the other man had judged him and found him lacking in some way, or that he just didn't think much of him personally. The shift back to team leader, even a temporary one, had not been well met by his teammates, and specifically by McGee. There had been enough tension, snapping and cutting sarcasm to the point that Ziva had threatened them with severe bodily harm that would give them the chance to keep Gibbs company! Tony suspected that McGee's status as "honorary boss" for a few months had made him slightly resentful at their current arrangement, and he had to admit that his own attitude the last couple of days hadn't helped any.

As he sat on his desk this morning, he found himself slowly reaching the disturbing conclusion that his recent attempts to do things differently had mostly backfired, and that he was back to where he had started or worse. It had happened with Gibbs, and now with McGee. Deep inside, he had started a while ago to question his place in the team, and his place with Gibbs, or to put it differently, he had started to question his place in his surrogate family. Gibbs and Ducky labelling him as a narcissistic had hit him hard, and left him wondering if this family, much like his real one, was judging him on appearances, and if he had been found lacking here as much as there. He had felt better after his talk with Gibbs, but his recent comment about him being "not a friend" had reinforced those feelings of inadequacy. He had tried to reach out to McGee in his own way, and thought that was going somewhere, but the last two days told a different story. In addition to that, if the vibes he had been getting from Vance were true, then he may find himself also questioning his place in NCIS itself in the near future.

There had been one positive thing in the last two days, though. Kisarios had called Tony to express his gratitude. The man had sounded sincere and warm, and grateful that he had been given a chance to mend things with his estranged son. Tony had been reminded of the reason he had originally gone into this line of work, and how rewarding it can be at times, even though it was often a very punishing occupation. This particular case had also brought thoughts of his relation with his own father. He still longed for something that he never got when he was young, and though he had left it all behind him, the longing was still there, right beneath the surface. He wondered, he questioned, and he brooded, but he wasn't ready to tackle that issue yet, because if this one backfired, the cost would be too high.

He silently admonished himself, _Anthony, my boy, it may be better for you to stick to old patterns, and easy choices.. safer that way, and less depressing too._

He had to shake himself out of the gloomy thoughts, he had been brooding a lot lately, and it wasn't getting him anywhere. He thought about calling one of his frat brothers, he didn't know if that would make a difference, but he could use something uncomplicated and fun, and most of all, his frat brothers accepted him totally, and his battered self-esteem could use their simple brand of caring, even if it was a shallow one.

_**Meanwhile, Back in Bethesda**_

Gibbs looked a bit better than he did a couple of days ago, McGee thought. His face was still pale, with an almost permanent frown that betrayed the pain caused by certain movements. He had not seen Gibbs in that particular phase before; last year he had gone from drowning and being semi-dead, to being all right in one go. Prior to that, when he had been blown up on that ship, he had fallen into a coma, had amnesia, appeared suddenly in the squad room in hospital scrubs but in his usual brisk and purposeful mode, and then had suddenly departed for Mexico. So, he was not familiar with a weary and confined Gibbs.

"How are you handling things at the office, McGee?"

"Everything is fine, Boss. We're tying up a few things with the Kisarios case.""

"I know that, McGee, what I want to know is how you and DiNozzo are handling things?"

Has Tony been talking to Gibbs? McGee wondered silently, or may be it was Ziva, she had been about ready to kill them both.

"Well boss, it would really be great to have you back!" he answered with a smile. But Gibbs looked at him pointedly, and recovering or not, the stare was unnerving, and McGee fidgeted as he answered, "Boss, you know how Tony acts.. he goes too far sometimes.."

"I know that McGee," Gibbs answered calmly, and added, "but it seems to me that you've been at each other's throat lately."

McGee thought that the same could be said about Tony and Gibbs too, but since he valued his life, he kept that thought to himself, and answered with some frustration, "I have just been trying to stop him.. it is not easy.."

Gibbs shook his head interrupting him, "on the contrary, McGee. Let me give you a DiNozzo tip, if you want to stop him, don't try to outwit him, or insult him, you will only succeed in riling him into an endless round of ridiculous banter, or you will hurt his feelings.." McGee looked at him suspiciously and Gibbs anticipated what he was about to say, "Yes, McGee he has feelings, and they can be hurt easier than you imagine." Gibbs' conscience was screaming at him that he was the worst kind of hypocrite, and that he should follow his own advice-he had to agree with his conscience on that one.

"Listen, McGee, all you have to do is to ask him seriously to stop and he will. Don't give him disapproving looks, whine, or go into fits of righteous anger- these won't work."

McGee gave this some consideration, he could remember two occasions where he had exactly done that, and where Tony had in fact had apologised and backed off, and he remembered them because they would be always tied in his mind with two tragic incidents, the undercover cop he had shot at and may be killed, and Kate's death. But that had been back then, when McGee had been younger and inexperienced, and at that time he hadn't been trying to get back at Tony or put him down.

He raised his eyes to look at Gibbs, and quietly said, "I think I get it boss.. "

"Good!" Gibbs nodded approvingly, adding with a faint smile, "I make a cranky patient, McGee, and you really wouldn't enjoy joining me here."

"Ziva. ..did she.. uh.. I got it boss!" McGee said decisively as he headed out.

Gibbs was left alone with his thoughts, and his own quandary to resolve. It had been two days since he had, so spectacularly, put his foot in it. Apart from pain and exhaustion, there was nothing here to distract him from his thoughts, no work related matters, no boat in the basement, and no bickering team members. He had confronted himself, and it had been relatively easy to explain why he had refused DiNozzo's offer. It had been more difficult to explain his subsequent comment, the one that had probably left DiNozzo feeling awkward and excluded. It had been a perfect example of how bad he was with words when he had complex feelings about a situation, and when his own needs and insecurities warred with the image he had cultivated for years.

He had examined his inner motives with brutal honesty in the last two days, and had reached some unflattering conclusions, which he really didn't want to share with DiNozzo, or with anyone for that matter. However, for the second time in as many weeks, he found himself compelled to reveal part of his thoughts to his senior field agent. But, he had waited to talk to DiNozzo until he could curb that familiar flare of anger that he felt whenever he was being forced to open up.

He had been accused once of being like "an immovable object", he had his own rules and others had to follow them or walk away, those who didn't wish to collide with him had to change their own course, or risk a collision that would hurt them more than him; actually by definition an immovable object can not be hurt. They were wrong. He was very much set in his ways, but he was not immovable, and he could be hurt. It was really ironic, he thought, he appears tough to the point that people do not believe he can be hurt, and DiNozzo appears such a happy-go-lucky fellow that people also do not believe he can be hurt. They both knew better, and he was counting on DiNozzo's ability to understand him and to make sense of his sketchy explanations to get them out of this one.

**Tbc.**

One more chapter to go


	9. Chapter 9

**Final Chapter**

_A couple of hours later, Squad Room_

Tony looked suspiciously at the various chocolate bars on this desk, and then up to a patiently waiting McGee, "What is that, McGoo? Did you raid a candy store?"

"Not exactly, Tony. I just came from seeing Gibbs and he said something about keeping you away from vending machines, so.."  
"So, is this like a "Gibbs made me do it" thing, Probie?  
"Well, it wasn't entirely my idea, but I thought it would be a fitting way to declare a truce!"

Ziva had been following the exchange with a dangerous look in her eyes, but when it didn't seem like another round of barely disguised insults, she got up to join them. "Don't people usually wave a white flag in that case, McGee?"

Before McGee could answer, Tony added, "We were having a war, then? Or is that a civil war?"

"More like a friendly fire, Tony.. and I still owe you that coffee, but I think it is better if we just have it at the coffee shop."

"Good idea, McGee," Ziva added sweetly, "that way, I don't have to kill one of you if you don't settle your friendly differences."

Tony looked at McGee thoughtfully, then nodded, "All right, McGee .. but I have to warn you, I'm not really good company right now."

McGee was silent for a moment, and then smiled as if he just made an surprising discovery, "it may sound strange, but I think I can better relate to you that way, Tony." Before Tony got the chance to answer, his cell phone rang, and he excused himself to take the call. A few seconds later, he grabbed his jacket quickly, and looked apologetically at McGee, "I'm sorry, Probie. I will have to take a rain check for that coffee, the hospital called and I will need to go See Gibbs."

"Is there a problem?" Ziva asked with some concern.

"I was there a while ago, nothing was out of the ordinary." McGee said with a frown.

"I am sure everything is fine, Ziva.. I will see you later." Tony said as he hurried towards the elevator.

_**Later in Bethesda, **_

"Is everything ok, Boss?"

Gibbs could hear a trace of worry in DiNozzo's voice. His Senior Field Agent was obviously submitting him to a quick visual examination, and apparently satisfied that his boss was still more or less in the land of the living, he relaxed.

"I got a call from the nurse ..I thought .."

Gibbs interrupted him, "didn't mean to worry you, DiNozzo, but I can't use a cell phone here, and she offered to call." Gibbs could see the transformation in DiNozzo's face, even as he was talking. The worry was gone, and in its place was now something he couldn't identify, until DiNozzo spoke again, "No problem, after all, if there was something serious why would they call me? Or is Ducky unavailable?"

It didn't take a genius now to read what was clearly written in DiNozzo's face, and he wasn't trying to hide it; his eyes and his words radiated bitter sarcasm, and Gibbs got the message loud and clear. He realized now that he had been overly optimistic to think that he could rely, once more, on DiNozzo's ability and willingness to understand him. He looked at him evenly and pretended that the jibe hadn't registered, "I needed to talk to you, DiNozzo, not to Ducky. The other day, you left before I was done.."

It was DiNozzo's turn to interrupt a bit sharply, "From where I was standing, it had seemed like we were pretty much done!"

DiNozzo was clearly pissed at him, more so than the last time, and he wasn't making any effort to hold back. Gibbs wasn't sure how to handle that, without either losing his temper, or making things worse, but he was always one for the frontal attack, so he pressed forward, "I have reasons for what I said, even though I said it really badly. As I told you when you were grilling me a few weeks ago, I'm not particularly good at explaining myself, but I am willing to try."

Gibbs left it at that, and waited for DiNozzo's reaction, if his agent wasn't even willing to listen, trying to overrule him won't be a good idea. DiNozzo looked tired and mutinous, and Gibbs suspected that another faux-pas would probably make one or both of them say or do something that won't be easily fixed.

Tony wanted to be anywhere but here, and doing anything but having that talk. However, the sight of Gibbs lying in that hospital bed was a sobering reminder that people in their line of work were not granted endless chances at repairing things, physically or emotionally. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down, "All right."

Gibbs met his eyes and calmly said, "You can call it vanity, or you can call it pride, but I'm not keen on being around any of you while I'm trying to get back on my feet."

_You have to give it to Gibbs_, Tony thought with some admiration, _the man just didn't beat around the bush. _

Gibbs continued calmly, "I also think you wouldn't really want to be around me, either."

Tony protested, "I wouldn't have suggested it, otherwise. Besides, I'm sure you know that I can handle it when you're angry, or frustrated, and you have never bothered to check yourself in the past, so why now?"

"That's different, DiNozzo .. anger or frustration that are job-related are one thing, and this," and Gibbs pointed vaguely to himself, "is another."

Before Tony could answer, he fixed him with a pointed stare, and added, "Besides, you used to be able to handle it, shrug it, or you simply didn't take it personally.. but, not anymore. You haven't been exactly happy with me, lately, have you?"

Tony didn't want to go there right now, so he brought the conversation back to the original topic, "So, is that the whole issue, that you will be grumpier than usual?"

"No. But this one was easier to explain." Gibbs answered with a sigh. They both fell silent for a moment, then Gibbs continued, "The lines are already blurred between professional and personal, DiNozzo.. and I need to maintain some …" Gibbs stopped, apparently trying to find the appropriate word, and failing. He started again, while Tony listened attentively, "The three of you – you're not just my team, and my subordinates, you are important to me personally. If there are no boundaries left, I won't be able to do the job as I should. It will affect my ability to make certain demands, certain decisions. It will affect you too, we will lose the balance we have .."

"What do you think we will do?" Tony interrupted with indignation, "We will not follow your orders as blindly as we do now? We will expect you suddenly to become a jolly nice man?"

"Tony, you were not able to handle it when I was being a nice but shaken man after Ari killed kate!"

The words were so true, and so unexpected that Tony opened his mouth, apparently couldn't find a suitable response, and had to close it again.

"I am not trying to cast doubts on how professional you are," Gibbs continued in a weary tone, "I'm saying that you have a set of expectations from me, and so do the others, and I have things that I expect from myself as well as from you. It is like using blocks to build something, if you introduce a new element or take something out of place, the whole thing may topple off. It comes to me to maintain those lines, and they are too blurred already.. You mentioned that I stayed with Mike, and I told you it was different. Mike didn't have any expectations from me, he wasn't affected by anything I said or did, and though he cared, he really is more involved in his own life than in anything else."

"Gibbs," Tony started slowly, trying to get his head around what Gibbs was trying to say without saying it plainly, "Ok. That makes sense about Franks, but.. does that mean that you can only consider us friends after one of us leaves or after you retire?"

Gibbs gave him a long-suffering look, "Didn't I just say that the lines are already too blurred, DiNozzo?"

Tony crossed him arms and shot back, "Yeah, and you also said that Ducky is a friend, unlike the idiot not-friend who had suggested you stay over at his place!"

Gibbs really wished he was able to leave his bed and pace around; it was probably divine justice, he thought, that they were having this conversation while he was unable to just up and leave like he did whenever Ducky brought on a particularly touchy subject. No, DiNozzo was not like Ducky, but not because one of them was a friend and the other was not! At least this was one thing he could say for certain, "When I said it was different, I was talking about Ducky's age, our shared experiences, and the fact that he had patched me up before .. it makes it easier for me.."

Gibbs trailed off, watching DiNozzo carefully. He didn't look exactly convinced, and he didn't blame him. There was one thing that he had admitted to himself, but could not and would not admit out loud. While Ducky and DiNozzo both cared for him and respected him sincerely, Ducky had never "hero worshipped" him the way DiNozzo did, and still do. There was a very particular blend of loyalty, awe, understanding and faith that made his relation with DiNozzo unique. He didn't want to lose that. He didn't want a more balanced relationship. It was selfish, needy and immature, but there was no way to deny it, he had needed that, and it had done him good, outside of the job and on the job. He hadn't realized how much, until Vance had disbanded his team. Lately, things were gradually changing, and he hadn't wanted that part to change.

DiNozzo's face was carefully guarded, and Gibbs knew that he needed to get through to him, though he had no intention of revealing that part of himself. "Tony, I can't explain much more.. you will need to fill in the spaces, and I know you're good at that. I know how my words had sounded. I will answer you like I did one time, years ago, after you went missing, and we found you – Kate and I – as you were getting yourself and the missing marine out of the sewers. I told you that as far as I'm concerned you're irreplaceable.."

Tony interrupted with visible agitation, "That was a joke, Gibbs! I turned around and found McGee on my desk and you told him that he will have to move because I was not dead yet!"

"That part was the joke, even if it was a poor one. But I meant what I said then."

DiNozzo was looking at him suspiciously, "That was like 5 years ago. A lot has changed, Boss."

"Perhaps, but not as far as I am concerned, Tony."

Gibbs watched the emotions play clearly across Tony's face, and felt a measure of relief that he was able to read him, and that the closed and resentful expression was gone. He let himself sag against the bed. This has been more exhausting than the physical therapy session that had left him in a lot of pain earlier.

Tony hadn't missed the signs of pain on Gibbs' face, and he frowned in return. He hated to see the man in pain, and to be honest it was a new experience, because he rarely ever saw him in pain. A part of his mind was still busy trying to fill in the spaces in Gibbs' intricate explanations, but he had felt the sincerity of the words, and they made sense to him. Some of Gibbs' "issues" were very familiar to him. It seemed that as Ducky had once suggested, they had a few things in common. Gibbs grimaced again, and Tony pulled himself out of his thoughts, and asked him softly, "Boss, did they stop your pain medication?"

"Not completely", Gibbs answered, and added wryly, "but I didn't want to fall asleep in the middle of our tête-à-tête. Besides, I will be discharged soon, so it is better that way. So.."

Tony saw an awkward expression appear on Gibbs' face, and he raised his eyebrows in question. The awkwardness increased a notch, but Gibbs continued, "So, does your offer still stand?"

"My offer?!!" Tony exclaimed, while Gibbs winced at the volume, "Boss, you have just spent," he looked at his watch, "half an hour explaining the many reasons why you wouldn't.." Gibbs interrupted him softly, "I never said they were good reasons, DiNozzo."

Tony muttered under his breath, "you're just making sure that I will never figure you out!"

Gibbs just shrugged, as much as one can with only one functional shoulder.

"Yes, my offer stands," Tony said slowly, "when did you say they are going to discharge you?"

Gibbs answered placidly, "Tomorrow." He watched as a look of panic crossed Tony's face, "Tomorrow! I need to make some arrangements, oh man.. the maid .. I don't even have food up there, I spent a couple of nights in the office.. and what about your physical therapy.."

Gibbs interrupted the flow of words decisively, "DiNozzo, you won't make a fuss, or turn into a mother hen, right?"

Tony laughed incredulously, "Mother hen? Me? I have never mothered – or fathered – anything in my life!"

Gibbs returned calmly, "It doesn't mean you don't have it in you."

Tony looked at him mischievously, "well, if we squint really hard, may be you have it in you too, Boss.. to be mothered, I mean."

He laughed at the glare he received, and then injected a note of seriousness in his voice, "Relax, Boss. I promise that there will be no fuss, and that once you're back in the office, you will go back to being our favourite slave driver, and I will be suitably cowed!"

Gibbs smiled faintly at him, "You better."

Tony launched himself to his feet, his mind already busy on the details, and was talking to himself more than to Gibbs as he turned to leave, "I got to talk to Abby and Ziva…"

It was Gibbs' turn to appear a bit panicked, "No fuss, DiNozzo.."

"None at all, Boss. Ducky can advice us about the wheelchair, as for.."

"DiNozzo!!!"

Tony just chuckled as he closed the door and left. It seemed he had been on some sort of a roller coaster lately, and he may just find himself looking at the bottom once more in the near future; but for now, his heart felt lighter, and the doubts and questions did not seem as overpowering as they did hours ago. He appreciated McGee's appetizing, if strange, idea of a truce, as well as Gibbs' valiant effort at explaining himself even if the explanation was not very explanatory. He appreciated the efforts. He was the first one to admit to his own impairment when it came to certain relationships, and he was willing to walk an extra mile for his surrogate family.

For now, however, all he had to worry about was to make sure that Gibbs will not kill him – or vice-versa – during the next coming weeks!

**The End.**

**Author's Note**: **One step back, two steps forward** is probably a realistic expectation when it comes to changing old patterns and default settings. I hope that the story had managed to capture just a glimpse of the challenges, ups and downs, and rewards of close relationships. Many Thanks for the reviews, comments and discussions. I really enjoyed all of them, and would love to know what you think of this one.

The reference to the "irreplaceable" comment is from the episode "missing" in season 1.


End file.
